Sickipedia

New golf course opens, very big, very posh. All the rich white folk are there, suddenly in walks a black man. Walks upto the reception desk and says "Me want to join de golf course", the receptionist looks horrified "Im sorry we are a new respectable club, if you go out of the main gate, turn right and 5 minutes down the road is the old golf course, they take anyone". "No you not understand me, I want to join dis 'ere golf course" said the black guy. "And you're not understanding me!" said the receptionist angrily; 'Out the main gate, turn right and 5 minutes down the road is the old golf course, they take anyone!". "You no understand, I is Usain Bolt, worlds fastest man, I'm wanting to join dis 'ere club!" said the black man. The receptionist looks shocked and says "Im sorry Mr Bolt I never recognised you, how silly of me; IT'S 2 MINUTES DOWN THE FUCKING ROAD!".

Well that’s another record the Scousers lost

Minesweeper: What a German calls his broom.

So Tom Hanks has the Coronavirus, big wow, isolation is not gonna bother him 1 bit. Cunt lived on a desert island for fuck knows how many years on his own.

There once was a coke head called Flack Who gave her boyfriend a bit of a slap And when she got caught To avoid going to court She topped herself; simple as that!!

Man stabbed to death in Welsh seaside resort that is setting for BBC sitcom Gavin & Stacey. I was really really fucking happy for a moment until I found out it wasn't that fat cunt James Cordon.

Driver 'blows up' car with 'excessive' use of air freshener. Guessing he wasn't a Paki then..

Thought I'd jump on-board with the Ouija board jokes. I wanted to get in touch with some of the Hillsborough dead so I used a squeezy board.

I spotted an attractive girl in a night-club and bought her a drink. "Your father must have been I thief" I said. "Why?" she said as she giggled with her mate, "Is it because he stole the stars for my eyes!" "No" I said, "It's because you're black".

Aretha, it won't be a Midnight train to Georgia that'll carry you off, it'll be 6 niggers from the ghetto. Just so you know.