Sickipedia

An East Texas couple, both real-life rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

What's the difference between joy and chlamydia? I don't spread joy throughout the local school children.

I had a phone call from the school today. They said, "Your son has just spray painted 'Muslims Are Cunts' in giant letters across the playground." "You must be joking?" I said, "I don't believe for a second that he's actually done it." "Well, he did." she replied, "I watched him." "Fair play then," I said, "I owe him a tenner."

Life is about changing perspectives and priorities: I used to worry if one of my hairs was out of place, now I don't care if they both are.

They say money changes people and I have to agree. I cancelled my wife's credit cards and she turned into a complete cunt.

I asked my best friend why, at the age of 30, i was still a virgin?. "Don't worry" he said "The next Star Wars convention we go to we'll get ourselves some ladies".

Happy Christmas, Sickipedians! I wish you all happiness, health and love. X

What people in the UK call their Mother: Yorkshire: Mum Midlands: Mom North East: Mam Ireland: Ma Norwich: Wife 1 Comment

I was an award-winning swimmer when I was a lot younger. A sperm cell, to be precise.

*child spits out food* mom: "hey! we don't spit. if it's in your mouth, you swallow" *dad raises eyebrows* mom: "shut the fuck up"