Sickipedia

I was in Liverpool when I drove past a bunch of girls on their way to school, some of them pushing prams.

Fuck me, two piles of horse shit lying around waiting to be cleared up. Don't ask me why, but I've already called them Bebe and Elsie.

The government has pledged to send vegetables as food aid to the people of Gaza, thus doing its bit for peas in the Middle East. I'll get my coat.

It's great being a train driver in the UK. I now earn more than £65,000 a year for sitting on my arse pushing buttons all day. Anyway, I've had a hard day; I need some time on my Playstation.

I was so, so shocked to hear about this French woman who was raped by dozens of men while unconscious. I can't speak for anyone else, but myself, I thought she was a corpse.

My girlfriend likes roleplay in the bedroom; she's let me fuck her while dressed as Lara Croft, Faith Connors and Tifa Lockhart. But she looked very shocked when I suggested Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls.

I just read a comment on one of my most recent jokes from someone who was clearly Chinese. "ROR".

my wife kept telling me i was addicted to social media like wtf but anyway shes dead now and im at her funeral rip

A good one from Quora: A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you, Susie? " the teacher asks. Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

Which is the worst race? Niggers. Nod to Chum (even though he's blocked me).