Sickipedia

The government has pledged to send vegetables as food aid to the people of Gaza, thus doing its bit for peas in the Middle East. I'll get my coat.

I just read a comment on one of my most recent jokes from someone who was clearly Chinese. "ROR".

my wife kept telling me i was addicted to social media like wtf but anyway shes dead now and im at her funeral rip

A good one from Quora: A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. "And you, Susie? " the teacher asks. Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

Which is the worst race? Niggers. Nod to Chum (even though he's blocked me).

There's been a tragedy in Liverpool recently. For those of you who don't know the details, let me run through it...

Let me apologise in advance to all regulars on Sickipedia who happen to be Scousers... The comedian Andrew Lawrence actually said this on X: "To be fair, if I was in Liverpool, I'd drive through crowds of people to get the fuck out of there as well."

Our new work colleague is an Irish lesbian. She enjoys the craic.

True story. When I was studying in France, one day I came across a dead cat by the side of the road, and eventually thought of an idea for a practical joke with it: Eventually I carried it off in a bag and left it on the ground underneath a bridge with a note saying "Omar m'a jeter du pont" ("Omar threw me off the bridge"). Now, you must understand that that is not a grammatically correct French sentence, as "jeter" is written in the infinitive. I knew this at the time, and wrote it like that deliberately. Just like the Omar Raddad affair.

Wasp's son has fantasies about a gay mafia boss who calls himself the Godfather, describing him as a "red hot fag". (It's an anagram. And I saw it as a Countdown conundrum once.)