Sickipedia

"emergency declared in Birmingham after bin strike leaves city with 'rats the size of cats'" Otherwise known as 'muslims'

The death toll in the Indian plane crash is climbing rapidly... unlike the plane

Tik tok have removed their chubby filter. They said it was because of feedback. In reality it was because wasps wife used it and overloaded their servers

I saw a huge spider this morning and I was as terrified as a coke bottle in an Indian toilet

Harry Harry Harry, what did I say, you burn the coal, you pay the toll

I bumped into Benjamin Netanyahu in Newcastle upon Tyne today and asked him what brought him to this part of the world. He said he was watching the news and saw something about Gazza and a hospital, he couldn't believe he had missed one out and was here to blow it up

Heard about the earthquake in Burmah on the news so decided to take my Austin Allegro down to the Esso instead just to be safe

I heard Netflix are launching a remake of the Big Breakfast. With a woke new black presenter replacing Chris Evans, and some new puppets called Nig and Nog

Air India plane can't get off the ground and crashes. With the number of bags I see them check in I'm surprised it doesn't happen every day

I heard the BBC are relaunching Bargain Hunt with a woke new LGBTQWERTY presenter called David Dickinbum