Sickipedia

92-year-old Ryland Headley has been sentenced to life in prison for the rape and murder of Louisa Dunne 58 years ago. I would like to congratulate the Police on their speedy and thorough work on this case and am glad he will spend the rest of his life in jail, unable to hurt anyone else. Thank goodness he didn't get away with it.

London to celebrate Lionesses with open-top bus parade. Sadly not the kind of 'open-top' parade that would be worth watching.

Ozzy was worth £165 million when he died. At least Sharon can afford a new vibrator.

My Austrian friend looked upset so I asked him what was up and he said there'd been a mass shooting in his homeland. 'Oh dear' I said, 'was anyone killed?' 'Nine' he replied. 'Well that's good news isn't it?' I said.

After the bus crash in Somerset how did they know which kids were injured? Must be impossible to tell with all 70 of them going "Oooh Arrr".

Ashes to ashes, surf to turf.

A middle aged man has sexually assaulted an 8 year old boy at a campsite in Loch Ness. The monster!

It's bloody hot today. I'm sweating more than a guy in charge of public safety at a park in Essex.

Was Kim Woodburn an organ donor? If so I'm having her tits.

Black box found at Air India crash site. 🎵🎶Gotta get up, gotta get up, gotta get up...🎶🎵