Sickipedia

Is it too early to say ozzy Osborne touched me as a child?

I was so sad to hear about mystic megs death next week.

Trump has vowed to honour the survivors of the plane crash by giving them a military burial. Joe Biden later corrected him by saying the survivors should be given a civil burial.

I was blown away watching the Oasis gig in Cardiff and had to pinch myself to take in what I saw. The cunts actually played a fourth chord.

A black guy with an eyepatch on just got into my car and told me to get out then drove off. I think he was a pirate of the car I be in. I'll get my keys

I smiled at a woman on the train and she said "When you smile at me I want to invite you to my place" "Are you single?" I asked her. "No, I'm a dentist" she replied.

Just got my used tesla delivered from the states and although it's red, the touch up paint in the glove box is orange. Anyone got information?

I asked the baker in Glasgow why one cake was cheap and one was expensive. "That's madeira cake" he said. I'll get my apron.

I lost my car keys this morning and the wife said I should look harder so I shaved my head, bought a stone island jumper and got FTP tattooed on my forehead... Still can't find them

Whoever said 'Out of sight out of mind' never had a big three inch hairy fucking spider disappear in their bedroom.