Sickipedia

Is it too early to say ozzy Osborne touched me as a child?

I was blown away watching the Oasis gig in Cardiff and had to pinch myself to take in what I saw. The cunts actually played a fourth chord.

A black guy with an eyepatch on just got into my car and told me to get out then drove off. I think he was a pirate of the car I be in. I'll get my keys

I smiled at a woman on the train and she said "When you smile at me I want to invite you to my place" "Are you single?" I asked her. "No, I'm a dentist" she replied.

Just got my used tesla delivered from the states and although it's red, the touch up paint in the glove box is orange. Anyone got information?

Whoever said 'Out of sight out of mind' never had a big three inch hairy fucking spider disappear in their bedroom.

My wife walked into the bedroom last night just as I was pulling off my boxers. She's reported me to the RSPCA and is away to her mums.

I just watched planet of the apes and Charlton Heston merely lost his voice for a few days after being shot in the neck. They just don't make them like that anymore.

They've invented a plane that is made from rubber and is completely crash proof. The Boeing Boeing Boeing 867 is released next month.

I thought fruit flies liked fruit... specifically bananas. So why are there 30 on a teabag in the bin and at least 50 on one of the wife's used tampons?