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davdavo

Member since 7 years ago

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davdavo

7 years ago-Other-Family

Son: why is my sister called Teresa Dad: because your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram Son: thanks dad Dad: that's ok, Alan

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davdavo

7 years ago-Other-Dad Jokes

I recently entered a competition to see who had gained the most weight and lost the most hair. Obviously, it wasn’t called that. It was advertised as a ‘School Reunion’

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davdavo

7 years ago-Racism-Chinese

It's lent tomorrow. I hate having a Chinese landlord

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davdavo

7 years ago-Other-Wordplay

We used to have Empires run by Emperors. Then we had Kingdoms run by Kings. Now we have Countries..........

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davdavo

7 years ago-Other-Family

About a month before our grandad died, we covered his back in lard... After that he went downhill very quickly!...

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davdavo

7 years ago-Other-Dad Jokes

Last nIght my wife text me saying she was in Casualty. I watched all 50 Minutes of the programme and I didn't see her once. She still hasn't come back yet and I'm starving!

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My old man always used to say “one up the bum, no harm done”, and that’s why he was sacked from the mortuary.

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“Now then, now then. Howzabout that peasants and servants” said Prince Andrew

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I've got the big C. Dyslexia

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I was having dinner with my boss and his wife and she said to me "how many potatoes would you like Brian?" I said "ooh I'll just have one please" She said "it's ok you don't have to be polite" "All right" I said "I'll just have one then you fat cunt”

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