Sickipedia

The Rampton High Security Psychiatric Hospital, Poem of the month competition was won by Mark, from C-Wing. Roses are red My names not Dave This makes no sense Microwave

Apparently putting Alka Seltzer in your mouth when being Christened and pretending to be possessed is not funny.

As I turned over in bed this morning and first opened my eyes, I saw the most wonderful person I have ever known just gazing back at me. Yup, I’m sure glad I put that mirror on my bedside cabinet last night x

Somebody asked a question on a Facebook forum “can anyone recommend a gym for a 14 year old, please?” It seems my answer of “Gymmy Saville” was deemed inappropriate by the Invigilator!.

My old man always used to say “one up the bum, no harm done”, and that’s why he was sacked from the mortuary.

“Now then, now then. Howzabout that peasants and servants” said Prince Andrew

I never brag. It’s just one of my many, many qualities.

I recently entered a competition to see who had gained the most weight and lost the most hair. Obviously, it wasn’t called that. It was advertised as a ‘School Reunion’

I've got the big C. Dyslexia

Son: why is my sister called Teresa Dad: because your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram Son: thanks dad Dad: that's ok, Alan