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almalkin

Member since 8 years ago

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almalkin

8 years ago-Other-One Liner-Post Rating : 2

For sale;10 used condoms....no weirdos.

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almalkin

2 years ago-Celebrities-Taylor Swift-Post Rating : 21

Taylor Swift. Her music may be shit but she can knock you up a suit in less than an hour.

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almalkin

6 years ago-Politics-Conservative-Post Rating : 18

I like my women how i like my elected government.I take what i get,they're all the fucking same anyway.

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almalkin

7 years ago-TV-Film/Movie-Post Rating : 4

There's TV programme i can't remember the name of,the theme tune goes -Sunday Monday,something something,Tuesday Wednesday,something something,Thursday Friday,something something,Saturday..and so on.If someone can help with this i'll have a happy day.

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almalkin

5 months ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 6

Casey Stunt. I went to school with her. Lovely girl, hated spoonerisms.

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almalkin

one year ago-Racism-Black-Post Rating : 4

I got myself a new black coat hanger yesterday. I'll have to reduce the height of the coat hook though, this one isn't as tall.

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almalkin

one year ago-Other-Children-Post Rating : -4

My son fell asleep at a recent house party we had so I decided to shave one of his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face. My wife went mental when she picked him up to change his nappy.

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almalkin

2 years ago-Other-Misunderstanding-Post Rating : 22

The hole punch was invented in 1886. And was banned from Boxing in 1887.

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almalkin

2 years ago-Wordplay-Wordplay-Post Rating : 20

My wife told me she wants a spa day for her Christmas I'll tell her it's pronounced 'spade' when I give it to her next week.

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almalkin

2 years ago-Other-Wife-Post Rating : 33

I've had enough of Christmas. All year long I work my fucking fingers to the bone to buy all the presents that my kids ask for. And what happens Christmas morning? That fat fucker with a beard gets all the credit! Still I suppose it's my fault for marrying her.

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