Sickipedia

Bruce Willis is going into a care home. He goes from battling terrorists/asteroids/ghosts and Sam Jackson, to fighting illegal immigrant carers stealing his personal belongings, sub standard chefs making his dinner. and his family draining all his bank accounts .

Jeff Bezos' mum has died. Return to sender.

England football team led out by mascots suffering with dementia...5 of them arrived on Monday and 2 haven't arrived yet... I'll get my vase My dad suffers from it so get fucked...

Pauline Quirke looked less tubby when I saw her recent pic. Maybe having dementia has made her forget to eat for several years.

Me: "I'm coping well with my schizophrenia diagnosis when all's said & done and touch wood I've only had relatively mild delusions so far" Me: "Hold our beer"

"What fucking day is it Mother Fucker?" Asked Bruce Willis-

What's big, hard, and comes every 10 minutes in Australia? Joe Bugner asking if it's his title fight today.

Donald Trump threatens a billion-dollar lawsuit against the BBC for 'defamatory' selective editing of his 'perfect' speech on January 6th. In the BBC edit he told protesters: 'We’re going to walk down to the Capitol and I’ll be there with you. And we fight. We fight like hell.' However, his lawyers claim this was spliced together from two separate statements and used completely out of context. They have provided a full transcript as follows: 'We’re going to walk down to the Capitol and I’ll be there with you. Because I just had a perfect phone call with the late, great Hannibal Lecter and he said, Mr President, you really can jump higher than anyone, higher than all those baseball players. How you do it is a mystery, believe me. And then we're going to get rid of all these electric windmills and bring back the old steam-powered windmills, because the electric, the electric ones make a noise and that noise gives the birds cancer, you know. And then you take the Tylenol, and you don't take the Tylenol because that's bad and then only good bad things happen. And they're eating the dogs, and they're eating the cats. And we fight. We fight like hell.'