Sickipedia

A charity concert has been set up in honour of the 39 immigrants found dead in the back of a lorry. So far to confirm are Ice T, The Black Eyed Peas and Arctic Monkeys

Registration on the first day back at school in London, England.... Ahmed Al Sheriah ………………………………"here" Mustafa Al Sheriah …………………………….."here" Fatima El Bindiri ……………………………….."here" Ali Acmah Shabeeb ……………………………"here" Ali Sun Al En ……………………..No answer Ali Sun Al En? Little girl at the back stands up and yells ........ "It's pronounced Alison Allen, for fuck sake !"

ITV 10pm: Grenfell The Untold Story. One of them had a job...?

breaking News £45 billion found in a Nigerian flat. The poor guy living there spent the last 10 years trying to share it but no fucker responded to his emails.

Immigrants drown trying to get to England. In other tragic important news, I stubbed my toe earlier.

After the divorce I was left with nothing, so I decided to end it all. I stole an dingy in Folkstone, and paddled it as far as I could into the English channel, hoping that I'd get sunk and killed by one of the huge ships that pass there. After hours of paddling I was done. I just laid down in the boat and waited for death. I must have fell asleep, because hours later I'd washed back up on the shores of Folkstone. I was dejected, and borderline hypothermic. I could feel my mental state worsen by the minute. I'd become a jibbering wreck... Then some guy's in uniforms gently lifted me out of the boat, and carried me to a mini bus. They gave me coffee and a blanket, then started talking to me. I was too far gone to really understand what they were saying though. TBH, I was sobbing like a child and couldn't really get any actual words out. Anyway, that evening they brought me to this hotel, and I’ve been here for 3 weeks now. It turns out that they've organised a free furnished council flat and spending money for me too, so I should be getting the keys to that in the next few days ! And to think, I used to say the British government didn't give a shit about it's citizens !

Be proud to be British... We know exactly where every untaxed car is located among the millions of car owners in the UK, but we haven't a fucking clue where the thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe Theresa May should put the fucking DVLA in charge of immigration.

Girl, 11, and woman, 34, stabbed in Leicester Square. Police have asked people not to speculate about the ethnicity of the Romanian that did it, nor to upload any footage of the immigrant on social media.

A man buys a guard dog to protect his home. Unfortunately he has to get rid of it because it keeps letting everyone in. Turns out it was a UK Border collie.

Ok admit it who found it funny that some black guy froze to death and fell off a plane wheel and landed in someone’s garden?