Sickipedia

High-fives to the guy acquitted of masturbation on a bus!! I never thought he'd pull it off.

Fancied a porno wank today used a VPN so I don't have to age verify and the world doesn't know I'm into midget porn and having balloons shoved up my arse. But google hates vpns, by the time I'd identified 24 buses 50 motorbikes and 36 fire hydrants I'd lost the mood completely. Do robots even masturbate?

As I cancelled my OnlyFans subscription for this bird in no uncertain terms, I received a message saying... "Ha! You've been talking to the boyfriend all along!" "Haha", I replied, "You've been talking to your Dad all along"

Wank Holiday Monday. Did you get your five a day today ? Asking for a friend.

I have a date with a girl who told me she has a thing for medieval weapons and armour. Excellent! My helmet hasn't seen any action since around 1545. When I was watching Cbeebies.

Just a quick question..why don't we ever wank about our partners?

As it's holocaust memorial day again I'm looking at pictures of Jewish actresses and having my annual "Anne Frank".

The South Korean government today gifted Donald Trump with a golden set of tweezers and magnifying glass to help him pass the time as he awaited the arrival of the Chinese president.

I have a terrible masturbation addiction. I'm trying to beat it.

Study shows wankng 21 times a month can reduce the risk of prostate cancer. That's all very well but I've got 15 to go and this school bus won't drive itself.