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talon

20 hours ago-Religion-Islam-Post Rating : -8

Thinking of converting to Islam .. I mean sure it'll suck having to pray 5 times a day.. but lets look at the positives. Get to smack about the wife and kids Get to sleep around Get to pop out dozens of kids Don't need work for a living Can really let myself go without caring Get a free pass for almost any crime i commit AND 99% less likely to die in a terrorist attack ( unless ot me doing it) Think the pros are starting to outweigh the cons here.

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Freshly Dug from the Graveyard

As I woke up in the middle of the night, I screamed as I saw what I thought was a zombie approaching in the dark. Nope - it was just my wife returning from the toilet.

hadoken

an hour ago

My friend was going on a date and asked me for recommendations for places to eat out. I said well your choices are either the vagina or the asshole, I'd go for whichever smells better once you get down there.

90pcrecycledmaterial

1 hours ago

A jewish man enters a synagogue and starts praying, "God please help me, I'm in terrible debt, please let me win the lottery, so I can clear everything and stop worrying." Saturday comes and nothing. The following week he returns and prays, "God, my troubles are getting worse, my creditors are chasing me and I am so worried, please let me win the lottery this weekend." Again Saturday comes and nothing. The next week he's back again, "God, I'm desparate now, they're threatening my family, if I don't win the lottery this weekend, I fear one of them will die." A booming voice then comes down from above, "Solly, I'm trying to help, but could you at least meet me half way and BUY A FUCKING TICKET." (Credit- The late great Bernard Manning)

mp47

3 hours ago

Black Friday: 50% off all slaves

gwtp123

5 hours ago

Greta Thunberg says birds are flying out of the country in huge numbers because of air pollution from cars. One flew over the cuckoo's nest.

innit

10 hours ago

Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

risco Congratulations @hadoken, you’ve managed to out do @wasp & post the most pathetic unfunny piece of shit this year…. …just a thought, ever thought of fuckin’ off & spreading ya misery elsewhere you cunt?

an hour ago - View Post

risco You seriously thought this shit worthy of the effort of posting it on here? Really? Whats it like being a perennial mind numbingly misery spreading cunt of a loser???? Come on do tell us?

an hour ago - View Post

hadoken I am not lennywankstain. But I did shag my dog last night, after I dug him up.

an hour ago - View Post

scorpiox666 @innit, please for the love of god, please try posting something funny & or edgy you misery spreading loser.

1 hours ago - View Post

scorpiox666 Great idea @pattate ……strap a bomb to yasel & pull the cord you miserable unfunny cunt.

1 hours ago - View Post

scorpiox666 That shit was barely amusing 50yrs ago when Bernard Manning wrote it ya fuckin’ sad loser. Try coming up with something a lil more original & or funny ya habitual boring cunt.

1 hours ago - View Post

Comedy Kill Count (Leaderboard)

dogsbody14

Rank : 1 | Score : 482.70

jackbuntis

Rank : 2 | Score : 381.70

risco

Rank : 3 | Score : 171.90

jimmysammy

Rank : 4 | Score : 169.30

lennyscrevasse

Rank : 5 | Score : 134.70

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