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Chris Hemsworth seduces a girl with a lisp. The next morning, he says, "I have a confession to make -- I'm Thor." The girl says, "You're thor? I can hardly walk!"

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Say what you want about eliminating mask mandates, Ugly people should still wear them.

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Report: Scientists teach a goldfish to drive a car. Eventually, they hope to teach a woman.

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Bought the new QuentinCrisp anal swab Covid test today. When used properly, it includes a free prostate exam.

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I tried the new QuentinCrisp anal swab Covid test today. It was only 2cm wide and much shorter than I expected.

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I'm surprised QuentinCrisp hasn't invented a Covid test involving anal swabs.

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I plan to celebrate St. Patrick's day in the usual manner. Just a quiet evening vomiting at home.

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I was chuffed when the boss said I'm a habitual liar. I've never been called a barrister before.

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variant

2 years ago-Racism-American

Why do the media always get their facts wrong? For example, a US teacher was shot by a 6 year old student at "Richneck" Elementary School. When obviously the correct spelling is "Redneck."

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As they lowered the queen's coffin into the crypt, I thought: Well, she finally went down on someone.

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