Sickipedia

From Usher Wiv Bruv.

Acording to a recent survey about what is the sexiest accent, An Irish accent got the number one spot. Well i'm not seeing any fanny hanging around Graham Norton.

I was thinking, when Angela Merkel gives her rug a scrub..Does she use Shake 'n'Vac

If anyone is worried about the Indian variant, then i suggest you sikh advice

I've joined a drama group and the tutor asked could i improvise and act out as a black youth. I said "Dunno, but i'll take a stab at it".

Just learnt Marc Bolan's father was Jewish. No wonder he wrote "Lifes a gas.

Bugs Bunny catches Daffy Duck having a wank and says "What's up Doc"?. Daffy replies "Nothing, i'm just quacking one off".

Here's an old one. Going fishing with my mate Dave and he has just come back from his Honeymoon. So i said " Well Dave, did you give the Missus a Fuckin' good seeing to on the first night"? "No" he replied " She has Gonorrhea, blue waffle the lot". So i said "Well, did you flip her over and bash in her backdoors"? "No," he replied " She has servere piles and a mesh to hold her prolaspe up." I said "For fucksake, did you get a blowjob". "No." he replied "She has Gigivitus and her lips are covered in coldsores." "What about a wank" i asked. "No chance of that" he replied " She has Leprosy, all of her fingers have fallen off"' "You must of sucked her tits"? i asked and he said "No, she has breast Cancer and has puss dripping out of her nipples." I said " For fucksake Dave, why did you marry her"? And has he was baiting his hook he said. "For the Maggots".

My mother, who is in her late eighties, only lives just around the corner from me. She's been told not to leave the house until this pandemic is over.However i'm confident she wont get the coronavirus. She'll starve to death before then.

An old classic Did you hear about the Irishman who had a pet Zebra? He called it Spot.