Sickipedia

Sainsbury have caused controversy this week by labelling their Gingerbread Man a ‘Gingerbread person’ Run run as fast as you can - you can’t catch me in the woman’s 200 meters because I used to be a Gingerbread Man!

If there is going to be a sausage war with Germany then we need to be prepared for the wurst.

What do you call a Korean with a pet dog? A vegetarian

Representatives from the Cardiff Philharmonic, the Royal Academy of Music in London and the Royal Scottish Royal Conservatoire are at a conference discussing how moral they are. ‘We are showing our support for Ukraine’ said the one from the philharmonic. ‘So we have replaced Tchaikovsky in our upcoming concert programmes’ ‘That’s nothing’ Said the well spoken conductor from London ‘We think the harpsichord and the music of Handel represents the racism of the empire and slavery so we have decolonised our museum collection to celebrate more diverse artists’. ‘Aye ye all oot of date’ Interjected the conductor from the Scottish Conservatoire’ ‘We wanne show solidarity with the sacked 800 sacked ferry worker. So we have just banned the Piano’

Just heard the news about Jerry Lee Lewis. So sad, and such a young age to be a widow.

Glasgow woman gutted as birthday balloon filled with £100 flies away: Meanwhile in Aberdeen sales of darts, rifles and Crossbows soar as Aberdonians scramble to shoot it down!

I know a joke about En vogue, but you’re never gonna get it.

The French boats surrounding Jersey have four throttles. Three to reverse and a fourth to go forward incase the British boats charge at them from behind.

Dua Lipa is wasted as a pop singer She should have been an Italian Olympic Triple Jumper

I can’t believe that every petrol station forecourt in Britain now looks like Kent