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You known you're stoned when you try to put a poppadom in the DVD player. Your know you're really stoned when a Bollywood movie starts playing.
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After watching the AJ fight, Tyson Fury has overhauled his training regime and ordered in kebabs, Guinness and 5lb of Columbia's finest.
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I lost a very good friend this morning. Just found her on the alcohol aisle, as you were.
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I watched a Jeremy Corbyn interview, it was another long rambling one. Who the fuck wants to hear about his hiking exploits?
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The tube announcer just said "The next station will be Oval" But it was oblong like all the others.
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I've got an on/off girlfriend. She's on charge at the moment.
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I meet a woman once a week purely for tantric sex. We're fuck Buddhists
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I just went round to my elderly neighbor's to chew the fat. I'll have to go again at teatime tomorrow if he doesn't find his false teeth.
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For many men, porn isn't just a pastime, it's become a knob session.
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It's 2 years since the Boston Marathon bombing in America. My mate from Manchester saved up for ages to fly over and compete. It cost him an arm and a leg.
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Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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