Sickipedia

Cluedo for cats. It was Kurt Zouma, in the kitchen, with a boot.

Can't believe the latest pictures of Katie Price after more plastic surgery. I thought she'd been on a date with Mason Greenwood.

My wife called me a filthy cocksucker today. I was that disgusted I nearly swallowed the Thai bitches spunk.

I went to the barber and he asked what I'd like. "A number two all over please. " Fucker shit all over my head.

Frozen singer, Sayaka Kanda, found dead. She's now on ice in the mortuary. It's what she would've wanted.

Satan was laughing at Jesus, "What the fuck are you laughing at?" Said the crucified one. "My birthdays is June the twenty first, I get presents then as well as at Crimbo loser. "

What do we want? An end to religious bullshit. When do we want it? After Christmas.

What do you call 27 migrants at the bottom of the English channel? A good start.

Come on Pakis, the clue is there when you sign up for them. A fucking big white rose, not a black tulip, or a black dalia, no pictures of a fucking curry or a flying carpet either. A white rose you goat shagging, soap dodging smelly motherfuckers. (Assuming the mother is only 9 years old of course).

I don't care how much work she puts in for climate change, or how she abuses world leaders, or is a hero for the youth of today. Greta Thunberg is still a tough wank.