Sickipedia

My son said he wanted to be a ghost for Halloween... so I killed him.

The founder of Ikea has died aged 91. Flat pack coffins. Allen Key. Leftover parts. This joke requires some assembly.

Don't you hate it when you're driving along and you toss your cigarette butt out the window, then a few minutes later you smell something and look back, only to find your grandma fingering herself in the back seat?

What’s slow, black and rarely works? Sickipedia.

I had a friend who died in the Twin Towers on 9/11... Well I say friend, he was actually more of a flat mate.

I was in Bradford last week... I felt like a spot on a domino.

A man is having sex with a prostitute and decides to start sucking on her tits. To his surprise he suddenly receives a warm mouthful and after swallowing it he says “Mmmm, I would’ve thought you’d be too old to produce milk”. She replies “I am, but I’m not too old to have cancer”.

There are reports from Ghana that four of their AFCON trophies have been stolen… I don’t want to sound like a racist but I reckon a black guy done it.

I’m not surprised that Boris Johnson enjoyed his trip to Peppa Pig world. Apparently it was David Cameron’s favourite destination too.

They say any long journey starts with a single step... tell that to the people who jumped on 9/11.