Sickipedia

What's the difference between Arsenal fans and Chelsea fans? One supports Arsenal and the other supports Chelsea.

My penis is so small that my girlfriend struggles to find it... Only joking, I don't have a girlfriend.

What's black and fucks your mum? Lung Cancer.

Darkman, I will shove my cock down your throat you gaylord.

My neighbour's son told me he's started work as a rent boy. I asked if that meant I would have to start paying for all the blowjobs. ...He said no, I could keep giving them for free.

My next door neighbour likes to sneak into my bedroom at night and finger my anus while I sleep.

My kids were disappointed when they found out the council are planning to tear down the old climbing frame in their local playground. Still... swings and roundabouts.

What do a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the faster it prematurely ejaculates.

What's the difference between manipulating mutable data structures with intrinsic sharing presets and an aliasing data structure for modular verification? One dramatically complicates reasoning in isolation over parts of specific objects because changes to one part of the structure can affect the other parts... and the other is your mum.

Beer can. What your Jamaican girlfriend puts in her BLT.