Sickipedia

"‘KNIFE CONTROL’? London mayor: ‘There is never a reason to carry a knife’" The Metropolitan Police have announced five hundred arrests for knife possession since the weekend: 160 butchers, 137 chefs, 128 café managers, 116 greengrocers, and 78 dinner ladies.

"The most dangerous stations on the London Underground network" Hmm, don't know about those, but what about: The most religious - Angel The one with the most deadly weapons - Arsenal The richest - Bank The maddest - Barking The most eco-friendly - Turham Green, Greenford and Green Park The least amusing - Victoria The least ethnic - White City

"Alesha MacPhail killer has sentence cut by three years" I was rather hoping he'd have a different cut: his throat.

"Andrew Cuomo stripped of his Emmy Award" I'm surprised. I thought he deserved an Oscar the bullshit he came out with the media lapped up.

Does Don Lemon know Jesus doesn't approve of anal sex?

"Phil Collins 'devastated as wife dumps him by text and marries someone else'" I thought his marriage would succeed against all odds, but take a look at him now.

"What we learned from the Queen's Speech" One speaks rather good English.

My favourite food is mushrooms. I'm a fun guy.

"Slave trader’s portrait removed from Bristol lord mayor’s office" This is sheer hypocrisy; the Prophet Muhammad owned slaves. I don't see anyone removing his portrait from the local mosque.

First woman: My husband is at the bar. Second woman: The Temple? First woman: No, the White Hart.