Sickipedia

Adam and Eve. First people in history to not read the Apple terms and conditions

(Old) Russian joke. Moscow man buys newspaper, glances at front page, throws it straight out. Next day and day after, same. Eventually, seller snaps: ‘Why DO you do that?’ ‘I’m just checking for an obituary.’ ‘But obituaries aren’t on the front page.’ ‘The one I’m looking for will be.

*TOP TIP* Cut all power off to the homes of Climate Activists. They'll soon be back on board with reality once the charge runs out on their iPhone.

I love it when Cashiers scan your money to check it's real. Listen love...If I knew how to counterfeit money I wouldn't be fucking shopping in LIDL would I?

Boeing..... consider changing the name of the 737 Max8, to the 50/50

America: "Only guns can keep us safe" England: "Pass me the fuckin' Narwal tusk and fire extinguisher"

It seems Glastonbury these days, is not so much 'hip,' as 'hip replacement.'

Joined the Army and wished you hadn't?..Get a discharge on the grounds of insanity, by voting Tory or Labour at the next General Election.

Accidentally went to a Gay Christian church service last Sunday. Only realised they were gay when I spotted only half the congregation were kneeling. -Bob Monkhouse

The Metropolitan Police need to take a step back....Enough Kneeling to a bunch of Middle Class, Marxist Cunts. Get them Batons out!..... and remember as you charge into them....That 'Black Skulls Shatter'