Sickipedia

I was walking past Old Trafford this morning and noticed a Season Ticket had been nailed to the gate. I thought, I'm having that. You never know when you'll need a nail.

The Government has announced it's purchasing 12 nuclear ordinance carrying F35 A jets. These will be operational as soon as the RAF can find a dozen black lesbians to pilot them.

I went for a job at Chanel's perfume warehouse. I was scent packing.

Just seen the cast for the upcoming Harry Potter series and noticed that the Snape character has been blackwashed. They should have dropped the 'Sn'.

A Ford Galaxy wasn't the only thing to have crashed in Liverpool on the day of the Victory Parade. Shortly after the website for the local branch of Injury Lawyers 4 U did too.

Rachel Reeves in desperate bid to outcry all the spacka's about to lose their PIP entitlements

Quite fitting the catty bust-up between two ageing divas that's all over the news is happening during Pride Month.

In a BBC interview Kemi Badenoch claims she is "going to get better" as Conservative leader. Not going to get whiter though, is she?

Why are British Pakistani families like yeast and flour? They're both in bread

Just got back home after a round of Chinese golf. Or, as they call it, Ho Lin Huan