Sickipedia

Apparently John Barrowman has quit the new series of SAS Who Dares Wins after only half an hour. Must have had a call from his agent that the Eurovision presenters gig is vacant.

Across the country: "Right, now get the fucking oven on."

How many black feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because a black feminist can achieve things by just thinking about them. (Excuse the indulgence but I'm doing some fishing to find what demographic is doing the up and down voting on here.)

The Russell Brand Affair. Here to remind Katy Perry her Just Eat commercial wasn't the most tasteless thing she's ever done.

How do you get a thousand Russians on an airliner? Tell them there's some Jews on it.

I was surprised by The Beatles new song. I thought they were just drum & bass these days.

I'm not saying I'm a sexual tornado but before the time I filled her full of fuckstick Rosie Jones used to talk like Princess Kate.

I see piercings are still popular with the young people in London.

I was shocked to discover that two British women were part of a group that facilitated the online torture of baby monkeys. The biggest surprise is that they weren't from Hartlepool.

The Definition Of Stalking: When you go for a walk in the park with your girlfriend and only you know about it.