Sickipedia

A bloke walked into a supermarket and asked where the toilet rolls and haemorrhoid cream is ? The assistant replied " bottom shelf "

Why are people so offended by the word paki ? Surely the word "fucking" that comes before it and cunt that comes after it is more offensive.

That Google self driving car will be useful when it goes on sale. For all those times my car needs to get there without me fucking in it !

I will never get confused again between a hemorrhoid and a hernia. They are both caused by straining but apparently you can only stand there rubbing your hernia while you cook dinner.

When ever some one gets accused of being racist they always say " I'm not racist, I have a black friend" You never hear them say "I have a Paki friend !"

I said to the wife "that memory foam mattress is good. I had a great nights sleep and I can still see the shape of my cock in it " She said " Dave you slept on your back last night"

One disadvantage of my son being the only white kid in a class full of black kids is that on sports day he doesn't stand a chance. One advantage is that at least I get to win the dads race !

Back in the 1990's it was the black guys instead of the eastern Europeans that used to do the hand car washes. I used to say to the wife "I'm taking the car to the wog wash" Now I take it for a polish.

Doctor "I've good news and bad news about your new born baby. Mum " What's the bad news ? " Doctor "Your child has one arm, is deaf, has ginger hair and is black. Mum " what's the good news then ?" Doctor" He's guaranteed a job on the BBC"

I just watched Mo Farah run in the world athletics finals as sponsored by TDK. I thought who the fuck still buys cassettes ?