Sickipedia

I love watching the Olympics and comparing my performance to the athletes. The other day I watched the Triathalon and in 2 hours they swam a mile, cycled 28 miles and ran 6 miles. In that time I managed to drink a bottle of wine and eat a family bag of Doritos.

Oh well Scotland...Schick happens.

I am looking at Sickipedia when the wife walks in. Wife: Are you looking at porn again? Me : Yes

The cricketer next door keeps cutting the grass on the footpath that runs between our houses. That bloody Moeen Ali.

Dominic Cummings has now resigned but will continue working for the party from home until December. So Dominic, if you can work from home, why weren't you fucking working from home ??

I like most people these days use metric. That is until it comes to telling someone the size of your cock, then 150mm does not sound too impressive.

On the news, I saw a 59-year-old woman living in a van because she can not get a house. She needs to get on a ferry to France, burn her passport, and come back in a dingy.

I need to buy a mask so I can go into a shop, but they won't let me in the shop without a mask!

Never mind the police being racist, I think that sexism is the problem. Did you know 85%of UK arrests are males and 95% of the UK prison population is also male!

Apparently athletes can buy weighted vests so they can go running carrying a higher weight and make themselves stronger. I find this odd and think why don't they just eat loads of pies and drink a few beers to add the weight naturally and have a fucking good time.