Sickipedia

Got up at 5. 30am and walked the dog for an hour Went to work for a 10 hour shift Got home and walked the dog for another hour Finally got in when the wife looked at me and said "that's it, it's either me or the yo yo"

So kicking cats is where most people draw a line.... To which I reply "if you don't draw a line how do you know how far you've kicked them?" 😂

To prepare for the upcoming murder of multiple British cyclists buy industrial chest freezer, there's much less mess when the body is frozen at the time of disposal

News headlines: Azeem Rafiq predicts ‘hundreds and thousands’ could share experiences Now I know he's talking shit, I mean how does he even know what food is thinking 🤔

What's the worst thing about gang rape? Waiting your turn.

My mate tells me "The Russian forces kill 80 people in a missile attack 😳. This was is getting out of hand." To which I replied "but you have failed to look on the positives!" With the anger bubbling in his face "positives, what f**king positives are there to that?!" Well it was a mosque 🕌

What's big, black and screams? Harvey Price answering the iron

Manchester United played against Young Boys Wankdorf Stadium tonight and lost to a fergie time winner..... So they should run the headline AT THE WANKdorf stadium, young boys smashing one in fergie time to the dismay of ole.... or maybe something less specific

My wife told me to record 'Dunblane 25 years on' an asked if I knew what it was about. "It's about a PE lesson that went off with a bang" I replied. Now I apparently have to sleep in the spare room

What's the worst thing about fu**ing twenty six year olds?? Digging a hole big enough for the bodies