Sickipedia

I was at an 8-year-old's birthday party that I took my son to. I noticed the yummy mummy of the boy my son was playing with was gorgeous. I went up to her and said, "Seeing as we're both single, how about we have a little fun whilst the kids are playing?" "How do you know I'm single? I might have a man at home." "Nope you are single. Definitely. I know." "OK. You give me three guesses and if I can't determine how you know I'm single, we'll go out the back." "Deal." Said I, shaking on it. "Firstly, someone told you?" "Nope. I don't know anyone here." "Second, you looked at my ring finger?" "Nope with the amount of rings you've got on I can't see one from the other." "OK, it must be the way I'm dressed more glam than the other mums." "Not that either." "Alright, I give up." She said. "Well, it's quite simple. You're white and your son is black".

In the NEWS: A national search is underway for six stolen Shetland ponies. Police say they’re “rounding up the usual small suspects, starting with Warwick Davis and that saddle he was seen carrying"

Nigel Farage, the leader of Reform, famously been photographed drinking his favourite pint, a Pint of Guinness. So despite not wanting foreigners in the UK he enjoys a drink that comes here from a foreign country that you have to let settle.

I've been shagging this really skinny bird. She is so skinny that what tits she does have are in single file!

When he was Southampton FC manager, one of the biggest complaints against Russell Martin was he bought all his mates to play for Southampton. With their new manger, Will Still, The Saints have made sure that doesn't happen again. Because Will Still is Ginger. And Ginger people have no friends

Hopes of finding out the reason for the Indian Air crash were dashed today as the Black Box they found turned out to be an Indian Woman's Vagina. "Fuking Sikipedia has ruined me" says Air Crash Investigator.

Elon Musk has come out in defence of his photos. 'I was NOT giving a Nazi Salute', He said in a statement. 'I first touched my heart, then threw out love to the people there. I threw out love to the People of the United States. I threw out love to Joe Biden and the previous administration. And finally I threw out love to Donald Trump, on his inauguration as our Führer!'

I broke my nose last night. I walked into a crowbar. i'll tell you, those crows are really protective of who uses their pubs.

In the NEWS: Tragedy in Switzerland made worse by the fact that People we shouting, "The Roof, The Roof is on fire" and the DJ thought it was a request so started playing The song “The Roof Is on Fire” by Rock Master Scott & the Dynamic Three.

I saw this white bird in the red-light District with a crop top and mini skirt. So I asked her "Any chance of a fuck for £30." "Fuck off I'm not some whore that's for sale" "Sorry," says I, "in this area and how.you were dressed I was mistaken" "Yeh well you better apologise to my boyfriend too. He's the black one over there. OH LEROY,THIS CUNT WANTS TO TALK TO YOU." So I went over to the coon and talked to him. Then I went back to the bird. "What did he say?" She asked. "Well I explained I asked you for sex for £30 and he called me a cunt. "Yeh I thought so" she said. "He then told me it'll cost £50 to fuck you or £70 with a blow job".