Sickipedia

in the News: Free school meals to be extended to 500,000 more children, says Kier Starmer. "And we will start just as soon as they arrive on the boats," He added.

I was taking my kids swimming today and asked my missus, "Do you want to come swimming with us?" "Sorry,"' she said, "I cant come swimming as I am having 'woman's issues". Stupid cow. Just because she can't reverse a car into a parking space doesn't mean she couldn't have come with us. I was driving anyway.

The This Morning Show swiftly tackled a comment made by a guest yesterday in the show. Sayeeda Warsi, when talking about hairdressers said: "They don't have a lot of human contact, many of them who may be living on their own. Particularly for black men or coloured men, or Asian men,." As the programme was drawing to a close, host Ben Shephard stated: "We just want to take a moment to apologise if viewers were offended by the phase “coloured men” that was used by a Paki that we had on the show today.

Nigel Farage, the leader of Reform, famously been photographed drinking his favourite pint, a Pint of Guinness. So despite not wanting foreigners in the UK he enjoys a drink that comes here from a foreign country that you have to let settle.

Aha sang a song called, "Stay on these Roads". Not with Morten Harket at the wheel.

Poor old Prince Andrew To fuck an underage prostitute cost him his titles, his knighthood and his reputation. It only costs me £30.00 up Rochester way.

Illegal migrants have been warned not to come to Britain anymore as the streets are, "no longer safe." Apparently, if they come, they risk being raped, murdered or robbed by the illegal migrants that have already arrived.

So Far Right Charlie Kirk has been shot in the neck and killed. Perhaps he should have considered leaning to the left a little. Then the gunman would have missed.

The Cat Knows

I was at an 8-year-old's birthday party that I took my son to. I noticed the yummy mummy of the boy my son was playing with was gorgeous. I went up to her and said, "Seeing as we're both single, how about we have a little fun whilst the kids are playing?" "How do you know I'm single? I might have a man at home." "Nope you are single. Definitely. I know." "OK. You give me three guesses and if I can't determine how you know I'm single, we'll go out the back." "Deal." Said I, shaking on it. "Firstly, someone told you?" "Nope. I don't know anyone here." "Second, you looked at my ring finger?" "Nope with the amount of rings you've got on I can't see one from the other." "OK, it must be the way I'm dressed more glam than the other mums." "Not that either." "Alright, I give up." She said. "Well, it's quite simple. You're white and your son is black".