Sickipedia

Fucking ‘benefit tourists’. Those cunts really freeze my piss. Met three of the smelly bastards from some Arab shithole in town today. First was called Amir. Second was called Amir Azwell. Third was called Amir Azwell Azim.

The wife was getting dressed up for a night out with her mates, walked into the lounge and asked me to rate her. "8 or 9 at least." I said. "Out of 10?" she smiled... "Thanks, Babe, I'm flattered." Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant pints.

That's the last time I use my Sean Connery accent to tell the wife to sit on my face.

Gave the wife a handmade bra that I'd got from a craft fair, and told her it was made from sheepdog fur. "Aww, how sweet" she giggled. "Is that to keep my boobies nice and warm?" I said "no, but it'll round them up and point them in the right direction."

The price of lamb in Wales has just gone up again. It's now £5.50 an hour.

You know you're a good rapist when she gets on top.

I saved a family of 4 Pakistanis yesterday that were drowning. As a PDF.

My wife is in hospital after being beaten up for using the 'N' word. Next time I ask for a beer from the fridge, she had better use the 'Y' word.

Jobs that no longer exist: 1. Steve

Whats the difference between racism and Asians? Racism has many faces.