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sage

Member since 7 years ago

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About Me

I am the kinda guy you think twice about putting on speakerphone. I'm also the kind of guy you can take anywhere, just don't take me for granted.

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Allupinyour, Momma

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sage

6 years ago-Other-Food and Drink-Post Rating : 55

It’s a 4 minute walk from my house to the bar. It’s a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house. The difference is staggering.

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sage

6 years ago-Other-Children-Post Rating : 47

I’ve seen a bear open a door, climb a ladder, play a horn and ride a bike but I still don’t believe it can make porridge.

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6 years ago-Other-Drinking-Post Rating : 40

Another limited-edition Game of Thrones whiskey is coming. Don’t be surprised if someone is dead by the end of each bottle.

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6 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : 40

Wow they ask lots of questions when donating blood! "Where did you get it? Is it human? Why do you have so many jars of it?"

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6 years ago-Other-Shopping-Post Rating : 32

Quickest way to get rid of stuff you don't need is by sealing it in an Amazon box and placing outside your front door.

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3 years ago-Other-Computers/Technology-Post Rating : 29

R.I.P. Internet Explorer, you were a wonderful tool to download better browsers with.

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2 years ago-Other-Feminist-Post Rating : 27

One reason men have filthy minds is that we don't change ours every other minute of the day.

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6 years ago-Other-Wordplay-Post Rating : 27

Transfinancial: Being a rich person born into a poor person's body.

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7 years ago-Other-Professions-Post Rating : 27

If lawyers can be disbarred and clergymen defrocked, this must mean electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed.

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3 years ago-Other-Animals-Post Rating : 26

Saw about 50 crows gawking and squawking over a dead animal carcass. Obviously, it was a murder investigation.

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