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sage

Member since 7 years ago

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About Me

I am the kinda guy you think twice about putting on speakerphone. I'm also the kind of guy you can take anywhere, just don't take me for granted.

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Allupinyour, Momma

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sage

one year ago-Other-One Liner

My friend went to a drug and alcohol treatment center called “The Hokey Pokey” and says it really turned their life around.

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sage

one year ago-Other-Family

No matter how many times I child-proof our house, they keep getting back in.

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one year ago-Other-Wordplay

As we approach the holidays I prepare myself for those that will be jumping on the Bi-Polar Express.

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one year ago-Other-Food and Drink

If I could eat dinner with someone living or dead, I'd choose a dead person solely so we'd go somewhere fancy where I'd eat both meals leaving them to pay the bill and the restaurant saying, "Wow, that guy stiffed us."

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one year ago-Other-Wordplay

Recently an Apple Store was robbed in broad daylight, but no worries, there were plenty of iWitnesses.

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When night approaches with the Universe shining bright, and a child looks upwards and asks, "How do stars die?" Be honest with them and gently say, "Typically it's drugs, drugs are why many stars die."

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one year ago-Other-Women

Ladies, if you continuously pluck your eyebrows they'll eventually become byebrows.

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one year ago-Wordplay-Wordplay

I never understood why the opposite sex of a cowboy wasn't called a cowbelle.

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one year ago-Other-Stupid

The reason mummies have trouble keeping friends is that they're too wrapped up in themselves.

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one year ago-Other-Thoughts

Zombies remind us how other people can still become problems in life even after they’re dead.

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