Sickipedia

lost £20.00 on a George Micheal bet this week would have sworn the coroner would have said cause of death was an enlarged arse hole.

Went to America and met up with that Joker Terry Hesticles couldn't understand a word he said, I said to his English neighbour I though Americans spoke English, oh he does he said but his mouth is always full of food, fucking fat sweaty cunt.

My sons an ungrateful little cunt I've been giving him wanking lessons and all he does is moan about having to practice using my cock.

I entered a wanking competition today unfortunately I lost the toss.

We sat on my 14 year old daughters bed I could tell she was nervous after all it was her first time, ok I said would you like to see it? Yes please dad she gulped as I showed it to her her eyes widened, it's bigger than I thought she said, longer and thicker, that's ok I said your 14 you can handle it,do you want to start? Ok let's do it she whispered my heart beat a little faster, right I said grip it not to hard so she wrapped her hand around it, now slowly move your hand up and down, mmm that's good now a little faster, oh god that's good keep gong, oh yes don't stop oh yes don't stop, mmm look honey it's all over the wall, look you did that, her face beamed, right I'm off to make some coffee you get on with painting the other walls..

Daughters ask the funniest things, take my 15 year old she only asked me yesterday if Covering my finger with soap was the best way to wash the inside of her vagina.

Hello who is there "chomp chomp chew chew" is that you Ghengis "yes aunty" what was that noise you where making when you called," I was just eating my Burger aunty" how many burgers have you eaten today Ghengis? "Six aunty" have you booked your flight to the UK Ghengis?" Yes aunty I booked four seats, like you said two for my arse cheeks and two for my stomach" Now ghengis I have some good news when you come to the Uk we are going to the opening of a new restaurant, they serve cheeseburgers "fap,fap,fap" chicken wings "fap,fap,fap" Ghengis what's that noise "nothing aunty fap,fap,fap" are you masturbating Ghengis, " yes aunty" do you always masturbate when hearing about food Ghengis, " not only food aunty I also masturbate thinking about men's cocks and them being in my arsehole aunty" right I'm off then Ghengis but before I go tell aunty what you are " I am a fat wanking cunt aunty. Yes Ghengis that's exactly what you are.

English, irish and Scotsman desperate for a fuck but only have £30.00 on them, walking along the street they come across an old prostitute, and proposition her, ok she says I will let you all fuck me for £30.00 but you also have to tell me who the tattoos of the boxers are on my inner thighs. First up is the English man, she spreads her legs, ok he says I reckon the one on the right is Barry Mcguighan, and the one on the left is Henry Cooper, your right she says so you can fuck me, after he has finished she sends him into the kitchen and she gets the Scotsman in he has a good look, the one on the right is Barry McGuighan the one on the left is Henry Cooper, ok fuck me says the woman after he shoots his load he goes into the kitchen, she gets the Irishman, the Irishman has a good look ok he says the one on the right is Barry McGuighan, I'm not sure who the one on the left is, but the one in the middle with the black curly and red lips is definitely Frank Bruno

Genghis is fucking shitting himself if Russia and USA go to war and he is conscripted the great fat cunt will stick out like a sore thumb on the battlefield.

USA drop the biggest bomb ever, apparently it was modelled on the size of turds that fat fucker Genghis produces.