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Let us kill all violence
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A giant globe fell on my son's face. He's currently in hospital with sphere injuries.
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A man phones the doctor about his hearing aid, but gets no answer. The doctor phones the man back shortly after and says, "You called?" The man thinks for a second, then says, "No, pretty warm, actually."
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The hairdresser pouted, assessed my hair and said in his high-pitched squeal: "Hmm...would you like me to tidy it up around the back?" "No, let's stay here," I replied. "There's no guessing what you might do."
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I'm not saying I wanted my wife's funeral finished sharpish, but we skipped the hearse and hired a Hermes driver instead.
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If I had a pound for every woman I've slept with... I'd be worth about 50p
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Katie Price reveals she padlocks the fridge to try and stop 29 stone son Harvey from overeating. Perhaps she should've padlocked her vagina to stop herself from overfucking.
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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