Sickipedia

I feel so sorry for the next generation growing up in Scotland if the SNP make law their new hate crime Bill and gender recognition act - where you can legally change your gender at will, with no checks, doctors agreement or anything. ... ‘Doctor, we’ve been unable to conceive a baby’ ‘They’d because your both biologically male’ ‘No, I’m a man and my wife is a woman’ ‘No, your wife is biologically male’ ‘Biological? What’s that? She’s not a man’ ‘It’s a taboo science thing, it explains how men and women reproduce’ ‘But I’m a man and she’s a woman. You need a man and a woman to reproduce, we learned that at school’ ‘No, you’re both biologically men, you both have penises and testes’ ‘No, I’m a man with a penis and my wife is a woman with a penis. And everyone knows men can have babies now anyway’ ‘Yes, but those men who have babies are actually biologically women’ ‘OMG!!! I’m reporting you to the police for a hate crime and I demand a second opinion from a doctor who is not a transphobe!’

Not really a joke, but this should make you laugh (or cry perhaps)! The Scottish Government has bought 20 x Tesla electric cars at £100K each (yes that does make £2M) to ferry the international leaders between the COP26 summit and their digs at Gleneagles. Just one small problem… …Gleneagles doesn't have any charging points and the only ones en route don't fit Teslas. So the Scottish Govt have had to buy a big diesel powered generator to charge them. 🤣🤣 On dear. What a shame. Never mind 🤣🤣

Mumble skirt (n.) - A skirt so short, you can see the lips move but you can’t quite hear what the cunt’s saying. (Nod to theancient and wherever I heard the description many years ago).

Please note, todays date is 01/01/22 and not 01/01/22 as the USA would like us to believe.

I queued for petrol last night, and when I got to the pump, I became very emotional and started to fill up.

I queued for petrol last night, and when I got to the pump, I became very emotional and started to fill up.

I thought global warming was killing off snowflakes, but it’s actually making them worse!!!

Andrew, formally known as Prince

I hear Nichola Sturgeon has asked to be jailed in a men’s prison.

I’m going to open a Scottish themed strip club. I’m calling it ‘Haggis, Nips and Titties’.