Sickipedia

I thought global warming was killing off snowflakes, but it’s actually making them worse!!!

BBC - Conservatives to build more wind farms - No!! We’ve got enough wind in this country without the government building giant fans to make more!!

I feel so sorry for the next generation growing up in Scotland if the SNP make law their new Hate crime Bill and their Gender recognition act - where you can legally change your gender at will, with no checks, doctors agreement or anything. ... ‘Doctor, we’ve been unable to convince a baby’ ‘They’d because your both biologically male’ ‘No, I’m a man and my wife is a woman’ ‘No, your wife is biologically male’ ‘Biological? What’s that? She’s not a man’ ‘It’s a taboo science thing, it explains how men and women reproduce’ ‘But I’m a man and she’s a woman. You need a man and a woman to reproduce, we learned that at school’ ‘No, you’re both biologically men, you both have penises and testes’ ‘No, I’m a man with a penis and my wife is a woman with a penis. And everyone knows men can have babies now anyway’ ‘Yes, but those men who have babies are actually biologically women’ ‘OMG!!! I’m reporting you to the police for a hate crime and I demand a second opinion from a doctor who is not a transphobe!’

I feel so sorry for the next generation growing up in Scotland if the SNP make law their new hate crime Bill and gender recognition act - where you can legally change your gender at will, with no checks, doctors agreement or anything. ... ‘Doctor, we’ve been unable to conceive a baby’ ‘They’d because your both biologically male’ ‘No, I’m a man and my wife is a woman’ ‘No, your wife is biologically male’ ‘Biological? What’s that? She’s not a man’ ‘It’s a taboo science thing, it explains how men and women reproduce’ ‘But I’m a man and she’s a woman. You need a man and a woman to reproduce, we learned that at school’ ‘No, you’re both biologically men, you both have penises and testes’ ‘No, I’m a man with a penis and my wife is a woman with a penis. And everyone knows men can have babies now anyway’ ‘Yes, but those men who have babies are actually biologically women’ ‘OMG!!! I’m reporting you to the police for a hate crime and I demand a second opinion from a doctor who is not a transphobe!’

AL Ali 5 HRS AGO I queued for petrol last night, and when I got to the pump, I became very emotional and started to fill up.

I queued for petrol last night, and when I got to the pump, I became very emotional and started to fill up.

I queued for petrol last night, and when I got to the pump, I became very emotional and started to fill up.

Not really a joke, but this should make you laugh (or cry perhaps)! The Scottish Government has bought 20 x Tesla electric cars at £100K each (yes that does make £2M) to ferry the international leaders between the COP26 summit and their digs at Gleneagles. Just one small problem… …Gleneagles doesn't have any charging points and the only ones en route don't fit Teslas. So the Scottish Govt have had to buy a big diesel powered generator to charge them. 🤣🤣 On dear. What a shame. Never mind 🤣🤣

A BOXING DAY POO You sit upon the toilet With everything prepared You're feeling quite excited but A little bloody scared! That huge amount of Christmas nosh Has turned into a log And now the fateful time has come To flush it down the bog! But first you must expel the beast And so you start to strain, You bite down on a piece of wood To take away the pain But oh my god, its bloody huge It's like you're giving birth! You sweat and push and swear and shake and strain for all your worth. And then that magic moment comes, That fills your soul with cheer, A turd the size of King Kongs arm Emerges from your rear. And like a bomb it hits the pan Thus lightening your mood, And making room inside your guts For lots more Christmas food! Curtesy of Facebook.

Nicola Sturgeon at her latest Scottish covid briefing - “ I am asking everyone to limit contacts as much as possible, to keep any essential indoor gatherings to a maximum of three households, and to get boosted by the bells.” Sorry, Nicola, but I’m a little reluctant to get “boosted by the bells”, l’ll just get it in my arm like everyone else!!