Sickipedia

Loss of taste officially COVID symptom. Fuck. I started liking Craig David.

I told the doctor that I couldn’t smell my food and it tasted plasticky. He told me to remove the package.

I got stopped at a covid 19 checkpoint for non essential travel. I pleaded with the Police to move back, as I had an extremely vulnerable person in the back seat, and was transporting her from one safe house to another. I told them, the virus is airborne, it’s transported by tiny water droplets. These are in normal breath, simply hold a mirror and breathe on it. Also look at a Russian’s breath at -20. The microscopic virus will easily extend beyond 2 meters. They moved back, and said that they were glad I was taking this so seriously, and I could go on my way. With a sense of utter relief, l drove off. I said to my passenger, ‘hey, it’d be no good for business, if you were to catch this horrible virus, would it?’ But Maddie was too drugged to respond.

Prince Charles has tested positive for Coronavirus, but reassures us, he’s in good spirits. Well for some, the rest of us have to make do with cheap disinfectant.

I’m only 5’3, but I plucked up the courage to ask this really tall girl for a wank. She was horrified, until I showed her the porn on the top shelf.

France bans gatherings of more then 5000, due to the Chinese virus. 4999 people is fine. French logic, many a time I’ve tried to work it out, under a car bonnet.

A spectacular event happened in the MGM this morning. A gypsy told the truth.

Seems presenting Love Island is even more depressing then watching it..

Are terrorists released too soon? I pondered, with my hand on the trap door lever.

BBC license fee to increase on 1st April. This is for the fools who pay it.