Sickipedia

Workers at the local clock factory are demanding better pay. They say they're prepared to strike on the hour every hour.

I've nicknamed my cat Rose West;........ She kills young birds and hides their bodies around the garden.

My Nan's 89 years old , almost blind and has Dementia. She's always told me not to be silly with money , and save for the things I want. Suffice to say ; She's the one with a biscuit tin full of Monopoly money , and I'm the one with a Civic type R.

Maybe ,Trump has been injecting himself with Domestos. That would explain why he's clean round the bend.

My Niece was raped in Bradford by a white man. I vowed I would kill the first white man I saw. Still looking!

My Pakistani neighbour told me "my wife walks a few steps behind me out of respect for her Husband". I told him "my wife walks a few steps in front of me, because my shit stinks like rotting elephants".

The Met office has issued a Yellow snow warning. Take my advice; don't eat it!

My latest girlfriend has dwarfism. Turns out she can be quite devious. I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her!

What do you call a horse with two pricks? A Police horse!

Perhaps they should have had June Brown stuffed and said nothing. No fucker would ever know.