Sickipedia

I call my penis ‘The Pizza’. It isn’t twelve inches, but it is covered in cheese, and the occasional mushroom.

What's with all this " african american shit", nearly all the black americans have never been to africa.. Jesus was born in a stable( according to the bible), but you wouldn't call him a donkey.

theresa may...tory voters.

the wife told me that she was expecting a shag tonight. I said "ok love, I'll nip to the offy for a bagfull of stella". She said "Am I that fuckin ugly that you need a load of tinnies to fuck me". I said "And the bag love".

Most dentists" chairs go up and down, don"t they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought, "this is unusual". And the dentist said to me, "get out of the filing cabinet."...

I get so fucking bastard angry when I think about Alphabet Spaghetti. I fuck...suffer from Bulimia, touretts and OCD and get really fucking pissed off trying to puke the fucking letters up in Alphabetic fucking order.......piss flaps.

At the last election, this canvasser came by my house and had the nerve to say to me, "If you want a Pole for a neighbour, vote Labour." "Listen mate," I said to him, "I've got Muslims living to the left of me and Negroes to the right, and im happy as a pig in shit".. " why's that?"...he asked.. " because it keeps the fly's out of my house"...said I..

Bernard Manning knocks on the gates of Heaven. A big voice booms out "WHO DAT?" Bernard says "forget it!"

whats black pink black pink black pink?..... a nigger having a wank.

I was reading an article on Autoerotic Asphyxiation and thought I'd give it a try. I climbed in a wardrobe and tied a belt round my neck and on the top rail, then I set about spanking the monkey furiously. I lost my footing and passed out. Next thing I knew was this blinding light and a guy with a white beard standing over me. I said "are you Saint Peter". He said "no. Im the Homebase manager, now fuck off out of my store".