Sickipedia

With the death of his father, I feel sorry for Ozzy Osbourne's son, Jack. Without his dad propping up his TV career, he'll be stacking shelves at Tesco within 6 months.

We were told as kids that playing computer game's and watching gory films would turn us into violent psychopaths, but it was all bullshit. I've been doing my own research, and it seems that the biggest contributing factor for kids becoming violent psychopaths isn't films or games, it's more to do with having black parents.

There is ONE positive to having such a diverse multicultural population here in London. It makes life a lot more interesting, and it can make life pretty exciting too being immersed in so many different cultures........ If only it didn't also make life significantly more likely to end prematurely in a violent mugging it would be perfect.

If only Prince Andrew had done his own laundry he might have avoided all this trouble. Right on the box of pretty much every brand of laundry pods is the important advice........... "Keep away from children".

A black bloke at work today proclaimed that he "Only dates black women". I asked " Isn't that kind of racist?", and he said "Na man. When black women have thick lips, a wide noses, and dark rings around their eyes, no one sees any difference, but when a white chick looks like that you get assholes calling the cops and reporting you for beating her". Oddly, it seems that idea of NOT punching women hasn't ever occurred to him.

I'm just wondering. In the unlikely event of something untoward happened to Keir Starmer while he's in office, so we're all up to speed on the correct protocol.......... what colour bunting and streamers should we be putting up for the street parties?

Anyone else remember Red Adair. He owned a fire fighting company that pioneered an inspired technique to extinguishing burning oil wells by setting off a huge explosion directly above it. Counterintuitively, the explosion would use up all the available oxygen from around the burning well, and it would go out. Anyway. If I ever found Keir Starmer on fire, I think that would be the technique I'd use to extinguish him.

On the plus side, when society returns to sanity, and all this woke bullshit is behind us, it will be relatively easy to tell what parts of history, anatomy, geography, and political websites the gen Z morons had edited to make them match their warped opinions. They'll be the sections with no grammar, no punctuation, abbreviated words, and full of emojis.