Sickipedia

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!" "What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look. "The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."

Q. What's 14inchs long, purple and makes women scream? A. Cot-death

Ben Affleck goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor doctor, every time I look in the mirror I get aroused." The doctor replies, "I'm not surprised... you're a cunt."

Did you hear about the Thalidomide porn star ?? He had an arm like a babies cock.

What's the hardest part about a Muslim killing his own daughter? Suppressing the erection.

Jesus Christ may have fed 2,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish But Adolf Hitler made six million Jews toast.

How do you make a cat go 'woof'? Soak it in petrol and set it on fire.

I just saw this fat bird sitting at a table on her own at the pub. She weren't much to look at but would be a good end of the nighter. Anyway I walked up and said "do you fuck?" She said "Possibly" I said "well fuck off me and my mate wanna sit down"

Walt Disney Movie Cancelled. Al Sharpton reported today that Walt Disney's new film called “Jet Black” the African-American version of “Snow White" has been canceled. All of the 7 dwarfs: Dealer, Stealer, Mugger, Forger, Drive By, Homeboy, and Shanky-Skank have refused to sing “Hi Ho” because they say it offends black prostitutes. They also have no intention of singing, “It's off to work we go

3rd Highest Ranking Catholic Priest Charged With Historic Child Sex Offences. Over 30 reported cases of young Catholic children receiving the Pell-end