Sickipedia

I saw a car with a sticker saying, "I am a vet therefore I can drive like an animal". Suddenly I realized how many how many Gynecologists there are on the road !

I've just bought one of those automatic watches which wind themselves up by natural hand movement. I will have to be careful I don't over wind it.

Thank god a Scottish horse won the Grand National !! Or Sturgeon would have asked for a bloody Re-Run

Ireland has had its worst ever air disaster. A small 4-seater plane has crashed into a Cemetary. So far, rescue workers have retrieved 432 bodies but expect the number to rise as digging continues through the night

Wow...Only in the UK You will not believe what just happened. I go to the garage and after filling up I went to pay when I noticed 2 policemen watching some some guy who was smoking while filling his car with petrol . I saw him & thought: 1. This guy has no common sense & 2. Is he really that stupid with the police right there, too?.. Anyways, I went inside to pay .As I was coming out, I heard screaming & looked outside. The man's arm was on fire!.. He was swinging his arm & running around going crazy!..I ran outside & the police had put him on the ground & were putting the fire out with their coffees!..YES, THEIR COFFEES!.. Then, they handcuffed him & threw him in the back of the police car. Then I said to myself, he shouldn't have been smoking near the pump while getting petrol !! So, being the nosey person that I am, I asked them, "Why are you arresting him?" The cop looked me dead in my eyes & said: FOR WAVING A FIREARM!!!

I've just complained to my local water company about the high prices they charge. I saw this morning that for £2 a company in Africa can supply fresh water to houses for a month

I've just met a woman with 12 nipples, sounds ridiculous.....Dozen Tit

Today 64 Pakistanis dies in Bradford, it was not a terrorist attack.........a bunk bed collapsed. \police are blaming Al Ikea

I went to a fancy dress party dressed as an alarm clock but I left early in a bad mood. The people there kept winding me up all night

Socking to hear that despite of the recent fiasco of DHL failing to deliver KFC products that they have now gone and won the Cadburys contract, great timing just before Easter! Problem is, what do they deliver first.. The chicken or the egg!