Sickipedia

I have heard the early sign of the Corona Virus is the lack of taste. Yesterday my wife wore purple trousers, a yellow blouse and an orange jacket..... I'm getting a bit worried !!

My neighbours had a viagra party last night. - 3 times I had to go round there and ask them to keep it down.

Just seen Jeremy Kyle show has been taken off air after a past guest has died... What will all the benefit claimers watch now!!!!

As one door closes, another one opens... Great lesson in life, crap if you have Ikea wardrobes

The new Dr Who has fixed full-length mirrors all over the TARDIS - she says it makes the place look bigger.

If Diane Abbott was in a normal job... Diane did u fix the lift? Well I think... Did u fix the lift? I believe.... Did you fix the lift? It’s my opinion that... Drop the van back to the yard and pick up your p45 in the morning Life in the real world

I asked a mate if he would partner me in the golf club comp. I said it starts at 8am and he said no worries but he might be 15 mins late. Well he was on time and we won. I asked if he would partner me the following week and he said yes but he might be 15 mins late. Well he was on time but with a set of left hand clubs and again we won. I asked whats with the two sets of clubs and he told me that when he wakes up on golf day, if his wife is sleeping on her right side he plays right handed and if she is on her left he plays left handed. I asked him what if she is on her back----Ah he said that is when I will be 15 mins late.

Socking to hear that despite of the recent fiasco of DHL failing to deliver KFC products that they have now gone and won the Cadburys contract, great timing just before Easter! Problem is, what do they deliver first.. The chicken or the egg!

I went to a fancy dress party dressed as an alarm clock but I left early in a bad mood. The people there kept winding me up all night

Today 64 Pakistanis dies in Bradford, it was not a terrorist attack.........a bunk bed collapsed. \police are blaming Al Ikea