Sickipedia

Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs. "Oh no, sir, we don't sell them in the States - they are a health hazard!" "Okay," I replied. "I'll just take these two assault rifles then."

What have I got thats 9 inches long, and helps me sleep with whatever woman I like? ....My knife

Tesco have come under fire for having smoky bacon Pringles as part of a Ramadan promotion. They have now apologised and offered free female genital mutilation vouchers to anyone who may have been offended.

I've just sat down in the restaurant with my wife and ordered the hippo soup. Not sure what I'm gonna have yet.

The British Islamic Association has said there is no longer room for extremists within their mosques. Although a waiting list has been set up.

What's black, has eight legs and climbs up drainpipes to get into your house? Four niggers.

When Muslim parents have to use the, "Open wide, here comes the airplane!" technique, do they just smash it in their face and make explosive noises?

I take my hat off to all the immigrants who come to start new lives in this country. I've got, 'Fuck off back home' tattooed on my head.

What do you say to a feminist who has no arms and no legs? .......Nice tits bitch!!!

I used to have a job helping a one armed typist do Capitol letters. It was shift work.