Sickipedia

I made my wife a Caesar salad last night...... The dog was really pissed off though as it was his last tin!!..

My mate reckons he can tighten nuts and bolts just by sitting on them. Personally I think he torques out of his arse…

It's a little known fact that the writer of "Winnie the Pooh", A.A.Milne, had a smaller brother called A.A.A Milne.

On average most men have sex 3 to 4 times a week except for Eskimos they're lucky if they have it twice a year. This news is distressing and came as somewhat of a shock to me as I had no idea I was an Eskimo.

I've been having a problem with nuisance phone calls. The most common one seems to be "You said you'd be home from the pub three hours ago!

The wife just said if this post gets 100 likes we'll try anal. So please don't like this, her strap on is huge and it really scares the shit out of me.

TV presenter Richard Madeley has said people who sent "sick rape threats" to his daughter via Twitter are in "deep trouble". He is going to find out where they live and post them naked photos of Judy.

My dentist informed me today that I need a crown. Finally, someone who understands me.

My wife told me to dispose of my red hot chilli peppers memorabilia. She made me give it away, give it away, give it away now...

I started a business selling Japanese bonsai trees it's been so successful I've had to move to smaller premises