Sickipedia

People hating on the Wasp Wife jokes... again! Come on folks, let it go. Wasp wife jokes are like Marmite: You either hate them, or you loathe them.

"Rashford set to miss two months of the season due to shoulder operation". Jesus christ! How big is that fucking chip?!

You sick bastards making jokes about that boy who died in Colchester need to take a long, hard look in the mirror. But not the one in the Fenwick store. That things a fucking child-killer!

If a tree falls in a forest and nobody hears it, does it make a sound? If a feminist comedian does a stand-up gig and nobody laughs, should she make everyone a sandwich?

As a teacher, the best thing about doing online lessons is you don't have to worry about the students smelling alcohol on your breath.

Kiki Dee is in hospital awaiting a heart transplant. Doctor says "thanks to a medical breakthrough, we are going to give you a pig's organ." Kiki replies: "Don't go bacon my heart!"

My birthday is on June 17, and they're already selling birthday cards in the shops. Madness.

The inaugural surfing event at the Tokyo Olympics was almost cancelled due to flat sea conditions. Cancellation was averted when Wasp's wife agreed to do a few bungee jumps into the ocean from a Sikorsky military transport helicopter*. *This had to done from a fairly low height. The last time she bungee jumped off the coast of Japan in 2011, she caused a tsunami that killed 19,000 people and destroyed a nuclear power plant.

Two birds (the winged type) in a field. First bird: "Russia bad. Russia doing invasion." Second bird: "Ukraine?" First bird: "No. Me seagull." . I'll get my feathered coat...

"Droids claim they were molested by George Lucas during filming for Star Wars" #R2Me2