Sickipedia

My wife looked in the mirror and said, "I'm getting fat," so she said, "I'm going to start going to that Planet Fitness."...... "Great, there you'll be the Planet."

47 years ago, the adorable French singer Lio sang about having her banana split suddenly stolen by the abominable snowman.... I finally understood what she was talking about, after I saw my yeti-like wife rip the ice-cream out of the hands of a younger slender girl.

Some years ago my wife was on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and I got a call from Chris Tarrant saying "Your wife is going for £500,000 and you as the lifeline can help get her there"... My wife started, "In the Bible, who was the husband of Queen Esther ?"; I instantly responded, "Ahasuerus"..... Just before the fat thick bitch lost almost everything she said to me on the phone, "No, it can't be that one, I definitely don't think she was married to a dinosaur."

After that brave 100+ veteran said what he said correctly, that it wasn't worth it for what it is today, Queer Starmer was approached about if any "special action" needs to be taken, like with Diana. "No, just let time quickly run its course on this one."

I was in for my prostate exam and it was going in deeper, deeper, deeper than normal..... than I realized, that doctor had both of his fucking hands on my shoulders.

What do Africans and dinosaurs have in common ? Not enough

My gay son got busted for cottaging, and is actually close to getting his case dismissed because he thinks it's unfair it's mostly straight people who will be deciding his fate..... the little faggot is claiming right to a Jury of his Queers.

My gay son got mad and said, "why do you keep calling me 'Entropy' when you know full well my new name is Ermionie ?" "I'll call you Entropy - a measure of the amount of energy not available to perform work."

I was watching TV in the afternoon and my gay son came up and said, "What is this wonderful thing you are watching !?"... "The movie Trapeze, before your time.... the sexy Gina Lollobrigida in her leotard and tights !"..... "Oooh, but I'm more in to that sexy Tony Curtis in his leotard and tights."

After the third time my homo son dressed as a girl on Halloween, I said to him, "I bet you wish you could wear a dress every day, you little faggot." That's why in the 2010s, the limp-wristed little cocksucker quickly became a part of "The Try Guys."