Sickipedia

"You're as useful as Anne Frank's drum kit" . "You're as useful as..." . Answers in the comments. Bonus cookie to the best. (You have to collect)

This is a genuine question, not a joke. I was away from Sickipedia for a few weeks while backpacking. What happened to that annoying twat Hannah? I don't see any of his/her posts. Banned? Finally got the message that he/she was as welcome as a shit on a sheepskin rug? And while I'm here, who the hell is Barry Bennell?

I have been a member of Sickipedia for round 5-8 years. I often find the jokes with modern day cultural or political references difficult to get as I have been living in Okinawa for almost twenty years. Especially "celebs", I mean who the fuck is Kardashian, Gemma Collins, Kanye, and so many more? Maybe it's a more peaceful life not knowing who they are. Anyway, to give you a taste of my angst at not understanding the higher scoring jokes and memes, here is a Japanese joke for you (if it scores more than plus 3, I will buy you all a sushi roll). Why did Oda Nobunaga feel obliged to attend Minamiza Kabuki theatre in Gion,?" He just couldn't say "Noh"!!! [get it?! couldn't say NOH!!"]

How do you make the boring bastard who posts the boring mistletoe and farts crap look special? Smear Nutella over his windows. [update: the 20+ "fart" jokes have thankfully been removed. What a sad cunt.]

If you aren't over 40 this joke will probably go over your head. It was told to me by an old fella in the pub, (David O'R...., RIP) in the late 80s. I spilled my pint when he told it. Guy walks into the pub and orders a pint of Whitbread Pale Ale. He sits at a table next to these two muscular women. Tough dames. Anyways, he goes to the toilet for a whiz, and when he emerges from the clungee, he sees one of the woman putting his pint glass to her arse cheeks and letting rip. Horrified, he walks over to the table and asks "You fart in my Whitbread?" Chunky girl says "no, that's her. I'm Tessa Sanderson". *taxi for Paul... *

Pythagoras walks into a bar and starts explaining his new theory to the bartender. "A triangle has three faces. a short face, x, a long face, y, and a thing called an adjacent, z. Now, what I have discovered is that if you add the square of x to the square of z, it's equal to the square of..." The bartender raises his hand to stop Pythagoras, and says "Y, the long face?" [Sickipedia website makers you need to improve your subcategories, thanks]

Why did Prince Andrew cross the road? To buy antiperspirant. Wasp blocked me. How odd. I've always defended his right to post puerile, repetitive, unfunny, elongated, repetitive (intentional error), repetitive, boring jokes that betray latent homosexuality. Then he blocks me? Dude. Maybe it was accidental.

I once met Roy Rogers on a river boat in Germany smoking weed. He was a Rhine stoned cowboy.

"Spielberg's daughter to star in porn movies" First up, "Schindler's Fist". (What's that...sound? Could it be a... bandwagon?)

As I have the day off from work today, I decided to Google "Gary Haggarty" and see what all the fuss is. To try and understand the psyche behind the guy on this site who is so obsessed with him that its clearly sexual. To sum up the results of my investigation, I leave you with this brief summary: I've taken shits that were more interesting.